For many people, the mere mention of networking brings on a cold sweat.
Speaking to people you don’t know. Shaking hands. Worrying you’ll be out of your depth. How do you start up a conversation with a stranger, anyway?
It doesn’t matter if you’re a hardcore introvert, socially awkward or just plain shy. If you want to succeed in business, you can—and must—learn to network.
Keep these eight tips in mind as you prepare for your next networking opportunity:
1. Remind yourself that you’re not alone.
Arriving at a big event can feel lonely—perhaps a bit like high school all over again. You might think everyone around you looks more comfortable, confident and “worthy” to be there, but most people are experiencing emotions similar to yours.
Regardless of the conference or the setting, plenty of people will be anxious, nervous or perhaps dreading the whole affair. Some will be hoping someone will approach them and start a conversation. If you see someone standing or sitting alone, why not introduce yourself?
If you are arriving with friends or colleagues, be brave: Separate and mingle. You’ll get much more out of the event if you make a point to forge new connections.
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2. Prepare some topics you want to chat about.
Not to the extent that you sound like a robot, but do organize your thoughts and talking points. Have a brainstorm beforehand, and then chat with people you meet about the topics that are most relevant to your profession.
If you jot down notes, you’ll be much more likely to retain information and key discussion points. Again, you don’t want to memorize a script, but there’s no shame in keeping conversational crib sheets.
3. Get involved on social media beforehand.
It’s much easier to approach people if you’ve already had a conversation on Twitter or LinkedIn. The more you break the ice, establish rapport and connect online beforehand, the more momentum you’ll have when the event starts.
Establishing meaningful, substantive (hopefully lucrative) connections begins with connecting online.
4. Be curious.
Communicators tend to be curious. When you’re at an event, be bold, ask questions, and use your inquisitive nature to your advantage.
If you have the courage to ask outside-the-box questions, you’ll probably receive more compelling answers in return.
5. Talk, but also listen.
Successful networking calls for a good bit of talking, but remind yourself to lend a listening ear.
If you love to chat, remember that not everyone finds it so easy. If you feel you’re dominating the conversation, take a breath. Ask a question. Let someone else get a word in, and listen intently.
6. Take some time out.
Meeting new people can be exhausting.
Don’t feel that you must be “on” all day. Take regular breaks to refuel and recharge. Get some fresh air. Networking can be extremely draining—even if you are enjoying it—so take all the time you need to recover.
7. It’s OK if you don’t know something.
The point of events is to learn. No one is going to judge you for not knowing something. Ask questions without fear or reservation.
Keep in mind that you have unique expertise, knowledge and insights that others would be interested in hearing, too. No one knows everything.
Don’t be shy about collecting contact information of people you might learn from down the road.
8. Smile, relax, and enjoy yourself.
Take a deep breath, uncross your arms, roll your shoulders back and smile. If your body language is open and welcoming, people will gravitate toward you. Enjoy yourself, and try your best to maintain an upbeat demeanor.
When it comes to networking, don’t let fear hold you back. Put yourself out there, and good will come from it.
Helen Deverell is a communications consultant based in England. A version of this post first appeared on her blog.
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