Wednesday, October 19, 2016

How does one do things that aren't fun?

Yellow is fun. And chocolate. And very soft clothes. A sunny afternoon and the luxury of extra time. Saturday morning. Coffee. A beautiful view. 

Seeing my Dad deathly sick was not fun. It was, in fact, torture. I wanted very much to run in the other direction. A person I loved was suffering and in pain, but also had dementia, which came with aggression, paranoia and nightmarish hallucinations.

But here is the thing: sitting next to my Dad when he died, holding his hand, is one of the best things I've ever done. In exchange for that, I'd turn Saturdays into Mondays. I would never again drink coffee.  I'd book my calendar solid and wear scratchy sweaters. I would give up yellow.


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