When I was seven years old, my mother and her man were into every illegal activity they could get into. This included smuggling all kinds of prohibited things into and out of Türkiye.
When they were away from the house one day, I went snooping and found a box of pornographic magazines in their bedroom. I remember the images clearly to this day. They were burned into my retina, brain, and soul.
I can say with certainty that those images ended my childhood. I became obsessed with sex, tried to talk my neighbors daughter into getting it on with me, and pestered my sister to no end to show me hers.
In the years that followed, I lost my virginity at 12, practiced unsafe sex habits, experimented in many ways, and became unable to form quality relationships. I am not blaming the pornographic images for all of this, though they did play a big part in my sexual promiscuity.
Losing my innocence cost me too much. I admit that there was a lot of other things going on in my life, which collectively added to the loss of my innocence as a child, however this one thing is the clearest of them all. After all of these years (41) the fact that I can still recall in detail what I saw, tells me something about the nature of the damage.
This is one thing I wish I could undo, the one thing I wish I had never seen.
I have tried my best to keep these type of things out of reach of my son, for as long as I could manage. Not sure if I succeeded, but I am sure the effort was absolutely necessary.
Read other answers by Murat Morrison on Quora:
- What is the impact on children of having a parent go to jail for a (non-violent) crime?
- What were the things your parents did right in raising you?
- What kind of toys should one buy for one's girl child?
from Quora http://ift.tt/2dJr050
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