Tuesday, May 31, 2016

What are some of the most far fetched conspiracy theories that you have heard?

Afghanistan may well be the nexus of the world's greatest conspiracy theories.  A great many Afghans I met had wild ideas about world politics, the US's intentions in the region, and Pakistan's relevance on the world stage.  Quite a few told me that the solution for world peace would be for the United States to simply annihilate Pakistan, which is, apparently, the source of all world conflict.  Alternately, one Afghan told me that the reason there was crime and violence in the West is because women there showed their skin and hair... but I suppose this is less a conspiracy than general ignorance... forgive me, the line is blurry.

The best, though, was a widespread belief that the US and the Taliban were in league with each other, only pretending to fight for appearances.  The US funds the Taliban, while the Taliban gives the Americans an excuse to occupy their country and exploit their vast reserves of... dirt?  I don't know... the last part was never made clear to me.  (Step 1: Ally with Taliban.  Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit!)

This stems largely from the severe, literally incomprehensible overmatch of technology.  Arthur C. Clarke said, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."  Similarly, it may be impossible to understand that even magic has limits.  The Afghans feel that with all our American technology, equipment, drones, radar, satellites, etc, we should be able to find and kill the Taliban with a hand wave and a wink of the eye; that we don't is evidence of conspiracy. 

To relay an experience, a Soldier was missing, so we inquired of a local judge as to what he might know.  He scoffed before denying knowledge.  When pressed as to why he scoffed, he said, "You say what you have to say, and ask what you must ask for your information operations campaign, but we know that your Soldier is not missing." 

"Of course he is!" we said.  "What would make you say that?" 

"My sister," he replied, "lives in California.  She has a chip in her cat so that if the cat gets lost, they can find it with a satellite.  You mean to tell me that your Soldiers do not have this same technology?  I know better."

Notwithstanding that pet chips don't work that way... it's a hard argument to defeat.


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