What is the rudest way someone has ever used your age against you?

More unintentionally cruel than rude…but here’s a story from me:

When I was in my early 20’s, I dated a guy for a number of month who is 10 years older than me. We were extremely fond of each other and mostly got on really well.

He was in a circle of people who took their intellectual conversations very seriously. I was an early-20-something year old, discovering the joys of exploring the world and enjoying my freedom. I was not very interested in intellectual pursuits at all to the degree that he was and I would sometimes unintentionally do things that would annoy him: like get distracted and have to rush for being late… or leave for work without my phone, leaving him worried as he would not be able to get hold of me the whole day. I would then be in trouble for ‘not taking responsibility’. I understood later that he must have seen these absent minded wanderings as a sign of immaturity… but they are still sometimes a part of who I am, nearly 20 years later! *

The longer we were together, issues would crop up for him and we would have these ‘chats’ initiated by him, which would start with “I don’t mean to patronize you…” and then he would completely patronize me. Horribly. Brutally. I understood that he thought he was coming from a place of love to ‘educate’ me in maturity…but that also left me feeling stupid, child-like and very sad.

I eventually married a man 19 years my senior who completely loves and cherishes me where I am at…who often says he is in awe of me and all the things I do. A man who never patronizes me or tries to change me.

What I have learned: Never let anybody try to change you because they are at a different stage of life to what you are. Believe in yourself, follow your own path and be true to yourself. You’ll get to your own place, in your own time.

I have learned to accept people for where they are at. Life has many surprises: You may re-discover a joy you had forgotten from someone younger than you… or observe a future joy of knowing more about an aspect life from someone older.

—

Edited to add:
Thanks to all who have responded to my answer!
*This happened during 2002/2003 for those of you who may wonder how I had a phone in 1996 :)

Read other answers by

Gina Ross on Quora:

• When parents announce which name they chose for their newborn baby, is it rude to tell them you don't like the name?
• Have people ever tampered with a meal and then served it to a rude customer?

Read more answers on Quora.

from Quora http://ift.tt/2iawOr1