In a wood chipper. I'm not kidding. I think he should visit the Forest Moon of Endor, meet a a bunch of Ewoks clearing some wooded areas so that construction workers can throw up a strip mall with a Smoothie King, a Firehouse Subs, an AT&T mobile store, a Circle K, a PNC Bank and a Del Taco. While at a Yub Nub that evening, he falls out of a tree and lands in a wood chipper that was accidentally set to slow-and-murderous (with special focus on his genitals and eyeballs), where he's pulled inexorably into the spinning blades that turn his body into Gunganburger over 97 seconds.
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