I, as a gay teen, think
That it’s absurd that gay/lesbian/bi/pan people get offended when others assume them to be straight.
Them: (sees ring on finger) How’s the wife?
Gay guy: !%!^@%^!%^#%
I don’t get it.
News flash: we’re the statistical minority and regardless of how much society accepts LGBT+ people, we’re always going to be a minority. There’s no way around it.
And sure, you can get around the issue by simply asking ‘How’s the spouse?’ but since the majority of people are straight, they’re going to assume you’re straight since that’s the orientation of most people they’re exposed to. Assuming someone is straight has a failure rate of at most 10%, and it doesn’t cause harm. It’s a non-issue. Correct them (if it’s safe) and move on.
Parents of gay boys will continue to ask about a girlfriend, like my parents have. Inform them, and move on. It’s a one time issue, once they know, they won’t make the same mistake. It’s not worth getting upset about.
Move on.
And for the bad parents or colleagues, classmates, roommates, etc. to whom you can’t come out, the ones who are homophobic, well, they’re stuck in the old intolerant society anyway. It’s not like they’re going to start saying ‘How’s your spouse?’ even if everyone else does.
People are getting more tolerant. Don’t be petty and annoying and insist they get every detail right; that’s an easy way to get people to dislike you. Move on. It’s not worth the one less year of black hair.
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