However, a lot of people are very confused about what it means to be "nice."
Being nice does not mean you never assert boundaries. Being nice does not mean you go out of your way to avoid conflict, even if avoiding conflict means letting someone else hurt you. Being nice does not mean being codependent. Unfortunately, we are taught that these things are "nice," but they aren't. They really, really aren't.
Being nice means treating others with kindness and compassion...but still being willing to assert personal boundaries and to tell others "no, you may not do this to me." In fact, compassion requires good boundaries. Compassion rests on being able to have sympathy for others and understand things from their perspective, and if you don't have boundaries when you do that, you lose your own identity in theirs, and lose the ability to retain your own perspective.
Standing up for yourself does not mean you aren't nice. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Read other answers by Franklin Veaux on Quora:
- Why do I put everyone ahead of myself, be so nice, try so hard and become the person that gets hurt the most? What can I do?
- I'm a really nice person. Why are people always leaving me and forgetting about me?
- Why do some people use profanity when they can articulate the same thing in a much more elegant sophisticated way without the risk of offending others?
from Quora http://ift.tt/29aoV1j
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