I am hypersensitive to being a burden on others.
A few nights ago I asked a friend to give me a ride to my house (normally I walk but it was rainy and later than usual) and she hesitated for a split second.
I immediately told her "please don't worry. I can just call a cab".
"But, why?" she said.
"I really don't want to put you out" I said. "Calling a cab is no problem at all".
"But, where did you get that idea? I would be so happy to give you a ride. You live less than 6 minutes away. I was just thinking about something else when you asked me".
Me feeling like I was making her uncomfortable had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me.
In a million big and small ways we project who we are onto others.
If you don't love yourself, you can love others. Except that not loving yourself alters your perception, disfiguring everything: who you are attracted to, why you decide to stay, where your boundaries are.
It is from this warped view that you ask questions like this: why do I give everything when I receive nothing? Why does every man I date treat me poorly? Why does every relationship I have end with the man cheating on me? Why are all men emotionally unavailable? Why are all men scum? Why is that guy too nice for me? Why do I feel that man who loves me is out of my league?
If you don't love yourself, the way you love will be distorted by the fact that you don't believe you deserve to be loved.
Read other answers by Dushka Zapata on Quora:
- Is it better to tell hurtful truths or comforting lies to the ones you love? Why?
- Why do people fall in love?
- Which keepsakes are most important? Why?
from Quora http://ift.tt/2gW3xgV
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