Saturday, December 3, 2016

What is the best birthday you've ever had?

This year. I did absolutely nothing. It’s the first year in a LONG time that I finally escaped all of the annoying familial pressure to “do something”. I turned 41, so there really wasn’t a need to celebrate. Every year of my life before this, people in my family or husband attempted to “do something fun!” for my birthday. Every year, I have to parry the offers and deal with the indescribably selfish attitude people have in assuming that for me to be happy, I must somehow want a giant fucking event for my birthday.

No, I don’t treat getting older like a funeral. I just hate birthday celebrations. I don’t celebrate anybody else’s except my husband and that only because I want to remain married (a fact that I’ve douche-baggingly conveyed for our ten years together). Yes, I hate birthdays. Yes, I find them a gigantic waste of money. No, you don’t have the right to tell me how terrible this is. This year, I finally got what I’ve asked for for LITERALLY my entire adult life.



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